Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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