i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize