Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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