Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
