My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is wine microwaveable?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
