Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
