Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
