You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize