When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
