Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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