His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
