What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
