your thong is hanging out like whoa
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I love you. Go after that dick
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