hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize