this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
