I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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