well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
