Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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