I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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