You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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