thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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