He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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