you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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