Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i drank out of a bidet.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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