Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
