I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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