and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
