I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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