spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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