I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
