spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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