AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
