Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
be right there i have to get my cape
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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