She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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