I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
No subtext here. People are naked.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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