It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
