I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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