Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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