idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I smell like Dick and happiness
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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