We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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