Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
