The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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