My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
