Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
