This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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