oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
