What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
