I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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