You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
