I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
