I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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