Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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