im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
