yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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