i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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