youre lurking in front of me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize