I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
