Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
