Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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