drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
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DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize