dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
