can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
