White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
